Arms Race: A QB Comparison
Steve Whitewater
 
Tom Brady
Peyton Manning
Background
Former Michigan QB, 6th Round Draft
Choice, 3-time Super Bowl Champ,
former SNL host
Former Tennessee QB, 1st overall
draft choice, defending Super Bowl
champ, former SNL host
Platform
Destroy the opposition at all costs
through strong political alliances
(Moss, Welker, Stallworth) and
illegal campaign tactics (videotaping)
Campaign mercilessly through
television ads, blame the men up
front after tough election losses
Awards
Super Bowl XXXVI and XXXVIII MVP,
3-time Pro Bowl selection, future NFL
record-holder for TDs in a season
1997 Sullivan Award winner, 2-time
NFL MVP, Super Bowl XLI MVP,
7-time Pro Bowl selection, NFL
record-holder for TDs in a season
References
Lloyd Carr (showed Brady how to
lose to Ohio State every year but 1),
Bill Belichick (showed Brady how to
dress properly and how to remain
stoic at all times)
Archie Manning (showed Peyton
how to be good on a sucky team),
Phillip Fulmer (showed Manning how
to keep a job despite continuous
mediocrity), Tony Dungy (taught
Manning proper literary skills)
Special Interest
Groups
Planned Parenthood,
Boneprone.com, Fashion Week
organizers
Marsh Supermarkets, United Way,
Sprint
Political Hero
Bledsoe to BuffaloBledsoe to Buffalo
Todd Helton- showed Manning the
ropes of how to play college
quarterback before starring in
R---tober (copyright infringement)
Odds To Win
2:1- the Patriots now have
home-field all but locked up and are
showing no mercy
3:1- has proven that New England is
beatable at home, must play in
Foxboro in January
intend to implement their own national health care system. So, in this most farcical of political
intenintend to implement their own national health care system. So, in this most farcical of political
intend intend to implement their own national health care system. So, in this most farcical of political
contests, we compare Brady’s and Manning’s platforms in a tale-of-the-tape to determine the true
election night winner! (a.k.a. the Super Bowl champion)election night winner! (a.k.a. the Super Bowl
champion)