| The 10 Greatest Upsets in SBTB History (#s 1-5) Clark Sheffield |
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And finally, we have reached the end of this long and painful
journey. We have arrived at the Top 5 Greatest Upsets in Saved By
The Bell History. I'm sure many of you will disagree with my rankings
and I'm also sure that you know what you can do with your
opinions. I've included George Streeter's rankings along with mine
just to give a little more perspective on things too. Don't take that
to mean that I value his judgement; it's just that I promised him I'd
get him some more work. So, without further ado, I present the Top
5:
journey. We have arrived at the Top 5 Greatest Upsets in Saved By
The Bell History. I'm sure many of you will disagree with my rankings
and I'm also sure that you know what you can do with your
opinions. I've included George Streeter's rankings along with mine
just to give a little more perspective on things too. Don't take that
to mean that I value his judgement; it's just that I promised him I'd
get him some more work. So, without further ado, I present the Top
5:
Streeter's pick: Zack vs. Craig Strand.
He may have lost the ATV race but he did win the girl. Stacy Carosi chose the laid back, blonde surfer over her rich, arrogant beau from
Boston. That’s a rather large upset because, let’s face it, it’s tough to beat anyone from Boston these days.
Clark's Pick: Malibu Sands v. North Beach in volleyball [S3,E4]
As one of the most, if not the most, memorable of the summer episodes of SBTB, this volleyball match provided drama,
action, and emotion. An opportunity for Zack to buy Mr. Carosi’s car was on the line, along with beach club bragging
rights. After losing Gary, the huge pro volleyball player, the gang pulls it together and films some great v-ball montages
while squeaking out a victory. The repeated shot of Slater short-arm serving the ball is classic; I could do the impression
in my sleep. And who can forget Big Pete whining: “Ow, I’m telling!”
He may have lost the ATV race but he did win the girl. Stacy Carosi chose the laid back, blonde surfer over her rich, arrogant beau from
Boston. That’s a rather large upset because, let’s face it, it’s tough to beat anyone from Boston these days.
Clark's Pick: Malibu Sands v. North Beach in volleyball [S3,E4]
As one of the most, if not the most, memorable of the summer episodes of SBTB, this volleyball match provided drama,
action, and emotion. An opportunity for Zack to buy Mr. Carosi’s car was on the line, along with beach club bragging
rights. After losing Gary, the huge pro volleyball player, the gang pulls it together and films some great v-ball montages
while squeaking out a victory. The repeated shot of Slater short-arm serving the ball is classic; I could do the impression
in my sleep. And who can forget Big Pete whining: “Ow, I’m telling!”
| #5 |
| #4 |
Streeter's pick: Jessie vs. amphetamines.
She was hooked from the start, but she was eventually able to ditch the addiction without even going to rehab. Britney Spears could
learn a lot from Jessie Spano.
Clark's Pick: Jesse v. Caffeine pills [S2,E9]
Drugs are no laughing matter, except in this case. Seriously, caffeine pills. I drink 6 cups of coffee every morning and it’s
very possible that I’ll knock down an energy drink later in the day. I’ve never freaked out and spontaneously broken into
a double-time version of “I’m So Excited.” This episode would have found itself higher on the list if only the producers
had seen fit to hook Jessie on crank or coke. It’s on the basis of the unintentional hilarity of the show that it made it up
so high.
She was hooked from the start, but she was eventually able to ditch the addiction without even going to rehab. Britney Spears could
learn a lot from Jessie Spano.
Clark's Pick: Jesse v. Caffeine pills [S2,E9]
Drugs are no laughing matter, except in this case. Seriously, caffeine pills. I drink 6 cups of coffee every morning and it’s
very possible that I’ll knock down an energy drink later in the day. I’ve never freaked out and spontaneously broken into
a double-time version of “I’m So Excited.” This episode would have found itself higher on the list if only the producers
had seen fit to hook Jessie on crank or coke. It’s on the basis of the unintentional hilarity of the show that it made it up
so high.
| #3 |
Streeter's pick: Screech and Lisa vs. the field in the dance competition.
Screech obviously had no moves and Lisa was severely hampered by her ankle injury. That wasn’t enough to hold this duo back
though. They used the injury to their advantage, invented “The Sprain,” and shocked the high school world with their upset victory.
Clark's Pick: Red Team v. Blue Team in the Army Cadet Corps competition [S2, E2]
Though not an incredibly seminal episode, this matchup made it to #3 due to the sheer magnitude of the upset involved.
The collection of losers Zack had assembled stood no chance against the all-star jock squad Slater had at his disposal,
yet they managed to claim victory in a decisive obstacle-course race. To put this win in perspective, it would be like the
winner of the NCAA Tournament play-in game knocking off the #1 seed.
Screech obviously had no moves and Lisa was severely hampered by her ankle injury. That wasn’t enough to hold this duo back
though. They used the injury to their advantage, invented “The Sprain,” and shocked the high school world with their upset victory.
Clark's Pick: Red Team v. Blue Team in the Army Cadet Corps competition [S2, E2]
Though not an incredibly seminal episode, this matchup made it to #3 due to the sheer magnitude of the upset involved.
The collection of losers Zack had assembled stood no chance against the all-star jock squad Slater had at his disposal,
yet they managed to claim victory in a decisive obstacle-course race. To put this win in perspective, it would be like the
winner of the NCAA Tournament play-in game knocking off the #1 seed.
| #2 |
Streeter's pick: The Red Team vs. the Blue Team in the Jr. ROTC games.
Zach led a team full of wimps, nerds, and dorks over the mighty Blue team led by king of jocks, A.C. Slater. The final competition came
down to an obstacle course race through the hallways of Bayside High. The race ended with a photo finish as Screech edged out rival
Butch at the very end. Morris’s leadership and desire was remarkable and Screech’s performance was truly inspirational. The final
stretch of the race was filmed in slow motion which only added to the drama.
Clark's Pick: Screech & Lisa v. the field, Dancing At the Max [S1,E1]
The competition was incredibly stiff, and this upset narrowly beat out the previous two for this coveted spot. In the end,
the dance-off was named the runner-up because of the magnitude of the episode itself and because of the star power
involved. Casey Kasem and his famous voice appeared on the show to lend a little street cred, but it was the regular cast
who would make the big impression. This was SBTB’s pilot episode; it laid the groundwork for what was to become one
of the most universally-loved sitcoms of all time. Lisa put aside her distaste for Screech in the name of competition and
the two danced their way, very poorly, to a title. “The Sprain” etched itself into the hearts and minds of viewers and set a
high standard that was rarely topped in the show’s 4-season run.
Zach led a team full of wimps, nerds, and dorks over the mighty Blue team led by king of jocks, A.C. Slater. The final competition came
down to an obstacle course race through the hallways of Bayside High. The race ended with a photo finish as Screech edged out rival
Butch at the very end. Morris’s leadership and desire was remarkable and Screech’s performance was truly inspirational. The final
stretch of the race was filmed in slow motion which only added to the drama.
Clark's Pick: Screech & Lisa v. the field, Dancing At the Max [S1,E1]
The competition was incredibly stiff, and this upset narrowly beat out the previous two for this coveted spot. In the end,
the dance-off was named the runner-up because of the magnitude of the episode itself and because of the star power
involved. Casey Kasem and his famous voice appeared on the show to lend a little street cred, but it was the regular cast
who would make the big impression. This was SBTB’s pilot episode; it laid the groundwork for what was to become one
of the most universally-loved sitcoms of all time. Lisa put aside her distaste for Screech in the name of competition and
the two danced their way, very poorly, to a title. “The Sprain” etched itself into the hearts and minds of viewers and set a
high standard that was rarely topped in the show’s 4-season run.
| #1 |
Streeter's and Clark's Pick:
Zack v. The men in Kelly’s Life (Slater, Brian [Hawaiin Style], Jeff [S3, E1], Lasky [The College Years],
Kelly’s dad [S2,E1])
From Day 1, Zack Morris had one goal in mind: win the heart of Kelly Kapowski. Sure, there were other young fillies
along the way: the school nurse, Stacy Carosi, the teenage mother in Hawaii, Lisa, Jessie, Tori, the USC co-ed he met at
The Attic, Laura the homeless girl, Miss Veronica Vaughn, the cripple he met through the teen help line (not to be
confused with Teen line, which got him trapped in a love triangle with Kelly and her younger sister Nicki), the fat chick who
won him at the date auction, female wrestler Kristi Barnes, the redhead with a man’s voice he met at Lisa’s Sweet 16 just
after making nice with Jeff (see above), Belding’s niece Penny (who actually got involved with Screech pretending to be
Zack), and Screech’s adopted cousin, just to name a few. Even through all those willing vaginas, it was clear to loyal
viewers though that Zack’s heart, and weiner, had always belonged to Kelly, despite the fact that she repeatedly ripped it
from his chest and stomped on it.
Consider the way Kelly would string him along, forcing him to compete with Slater for her affections. And it’s not as if
she exhibited great taste in picking the men she dated. In fact, Kelly seemed to gravitate towards either giant douches or
turd sandwiches. Let’s see: there was Brian, the lawyer in Hawaii (HUGE douche); Jeff, college boy and her manager at
The Max (turd sandwich); and Jeremiah Lasky, her history prof (turd sandwich with douchey secret sauce). And if
overcoming the odds against all of those dudes wasn’t enough, Zack even had to compete with Kelly’s father and his
inability to hold a steady job. You may buy the excuse that he worked for a weapons manufacturer and lost his job
because, as he so eloquently stated, “world peace broke out.” In reality, he was a lush who got busted for getting
sauced on the job. If he had saved some of the money he earned from building instruments of death and destruction,
maybe he’d have been able to buy his daughter a prom dress. In the end, though, Zack was able to overcome even Kelly’
s father’s worthlessness to provide her with a prom to remember.
But when all was said and done and all the dust settled, there stood Kelly and Zack at the altar in Vegas. Despite all
the obstacles, the on-again, off-again sweethearts were finally joined together forever in wedded bliss. And after all the
years and all the disappointments, Zack was finally able to tap that ass.
Zack v. The men in Kelly’s Life (Slater, Brian [Hawaiin Style], Jeff [S3, E1], Lasky [The College Years],
Kelly’s dad [S2,E1])
From Day 1, Zack Morris had one goal in mind: win the heart of Kelly Kapowski. Sure, there were other young fillies
along the way: the school nurse, Stacy Carosi, the teenage mother in Hawaii, Lisa, Jessie, Tori, the USC co-ed he met at
The Attic, Laura the homeless girl, Miss Veronica Vaughn, the cripple he met through the teen help line (not to be
confused with Teen line, which got him trapped in a love triangle with Kelly and her younger sister Nicki), the fat chick who
won him at the date auction, female wrestler Kristi Barnes, the redhead with a man’s voice he met at Lisa’s Sweet 16 just
after making nice with Jeff (see above), Belding’s niece Penny (who actually got involved with Screech pretending to be
Zack), and Screech’s adopted cousin, just to name a few. Even through all those willing vaginas, it was clear to loyal
viewers though that Zack’s heart, and weiner, had always belonged to Kelly, despite the fact that she repeatedly ripped it
from his chest and stomped on it.
Consider the way Kelly would string him along, forcing him to compete with Slater for her affections. And it’s not as if
she exhibited great taste in picking the men she dated. In fact, Kelly seemed to gravitate towards either giant douches or
turd sandwiches. Let’s see: there was Brian, the lawyer in Hawaii (HUGE douche); Jeff, college boy and her manager at
The Max (turd sandwich); and Jeremiah Lasky, her history prof (turd sandwich with douchey secret sauce). And if
overcoming the odds against all of those dudes wasn’t enough, Zack even had to compete with Kelly’s father and his
inability to hold a steady job. You may buy the excuse that he worked for a weapons manufacturer and lost his job
because, as he so eloquently stated, “world peace broke out.” In reality, he was a lush who got busted for getting
sauced on the job. If he had saved some of the money he earned from building instruments of death and destruction,
maybe he’d have been able to buy his daughter a prom dress. In the end, though, Zack was able to overcome even Kelly’
s father’s worthlessness to provide her with a prom to remember.
But when all was said and done and all the dust settled, there stood Kelly and Zack at the altar in Vegas. Despite all
the obstacles, the on-again, off-again sweethearts were finally joined together forever in wedded bliss. And after all the
years and all the disappointments, Zack was finally able to tap that ass.
The first two editions of my upset picks are
no longer available on the main articles
page. To access them, you can visit the
Semetary, or click below.
SBTB Upsets: Near Misses
SBTB Upsets: (6-10)
no longer available on the main articles
page. To access them, you can visit the
Semetary, or click below.
SBTB Upsets: Near Misses
SBTB Upsets: (6-10)
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